Knoshing and Nationalities: What to Know

Oops, was he not supposed to eat that? Avoid potential food conflicts with these tips.

From Polish nannies to Spanish sitters to French au pairs, parents looking for cultural caregivers can choose from pretty much every nationality under the sun. Today's caregiver can not only watch the kids, she can teach them about the language, culture and customs of another country.

However, there can be sticking points as well. One big one: food. With the rising tide of parental fear surrounding food allergies, spinach scares, lifestyle changes and childhood obesity, parents are beginning to crack down on what once was a fun cultural pastime: eating.

What does this mean when you are a sitter? It means that you need to be careful about the ethnic foods that you are delivering to your charges.

What does this mean if you are a parent? It means that you need to be careful, but not overly nuts, about what's being fed to your kids. Use the following tips to make sure that you're watching out for potential conflicts.

Be Aware of Cultural Differences

No matter how normal they are to you, some foods are really unusual -- perhaps even downright strange -- in the eyes of others. Many times, awareness of certain foods or the preparation behind them depends on what part of the country in which you reside. If you're an ethnic family, take the time to show your sitter how to prepare meals, or make them in advance. If you're a sitter meeting a new family, hold back on serving ethnic dishes until after you've asked if it's okay.

Don't Make Assumptions

Always discuss which food choices you feel are appropriate, whether you are the parent or sitter. Often times, because we are such an international society, we assume that people know what we eat on a daily basis. Sitters are often shocked when they find that their family has a preference against feeding the kids food, even if it's totally normal to them, and vice versa. Be aware that allergies could be a key player, as well as lifestyle choices like vegan, vegetarian, organic and even raw foods. Choices may seem strange to you, but in the end, the sitter has to respect the decision of the employer, and the parent must communicate clearly with the sitter. Talk openly in the interview with a potential sitter about food, as that is the best place to avoid issues later. (For example, you don't want to hire an Indian sitter before you find out that hamburgers are off limits.)

Be Prepared

Parents, if you would like certain foods prepared, create a file of easy-to-follow recipes and make sure your refrigerator is stocked with ingredients. Then, be specific in telling your sitter what you'd like her to cook. Sitters, if you are used to preparing food only from your own culture, ask the parents if it would be okay to add one to two dishes to their predetermined meal. Introducing just a few new items to the meal could be a great compromise.

Be Sensitive

For many, food is a cultural marker. It's a subjective matter and one that should always be approached directly but with a degree of sensitivity. What you see as "normal" may very well be "odd" to someone else, so when discussing food preference, avoid terms like weird, strange, peculiar or gross.

Be Open

If there are no religious, cultural or allergy issues with ethnic foods, parents should consider being open to ethnic foods. Even if you're not adventurous, your kids might want to be. And eating pollo con salsa verde is really fun if you're a kid, especially if you're talking in Spanish with your nanny at the same time. If there's no major obstacle, run for the border!

As with anything, an open line of communication is the key. Parents, discuss honestly how you feel about what your child eats, or what your comfortable preparing, even if it's difficult. Sitters, always check with parents about what you're feeding the kids, especially if it's from your home country. But also try to approach the situation with an open mind. As long as the meal isn't breaking with religious or health requirements, it could be fun to try something new.