How to Leave Your Work at Work
Give yourself a break -- minus the caffeine.
By w2wlink.com and Dr. LeslieBeth Wish
There's a wonderful saying, "If you want something done, give it to a busy person." Effective professional women are busy women -- women who can organize, multitask and deliver. The workload requires so much focus and energy that, by the end of the day, few women have the mental reserves to unwind, defuse criticisms or come up with Plans B, C or D. Here are some tips to prevent bringing home workplace woes.
Set aside time to decompress
It takes time for the brain's neuro-hormones to "re-set" from overdrive to cruising gear. To reach the point of relaxation without a lengthy delay, you must enticing the brain to calm down. For example, if you take public transportation, plug in your headphones to soothing music as you commute. Try Chopin piano pieces, smooth jazz or love songs -- anything you consider soothing. If you're in the car, pop in a relaxing (commercial-free) CD.
Get solution-focused
We're all human -- mistakes happen. When it comes to criticisms and unresolved problems, ruminating about your mistake or fuming about the incompetence of your colleagues will just sustain your stress and keep you in reverse gear. Instead, move forward and develop proactive solutions. Jot down your ideas on the ride home or speak them into a recorder when you're stopped at red lights. By developing plans, you trigger a sense of control and diminish the power of the evil twins of depression and helplessness.
Keep close relationships
There's no need to call everyone on your speed dial to review all the workday's events and issues. Instead, pick one person whose opinion you trust and run some of your proactive ideas by him or her. If your trusted work advisor is your spouse, call and ask him ahead of time if the two of you can carve out some time to talk about your work problem. Be sure to ask him how his day is, too. If he's in similar crunch and crisis mode, don't panic. Continue to develop your solutions -- you'll feel much more in control and confident in your ability to solve problems.
Get stingy with your free time
No one expects you to work at full speed during the entire workday without even pausing to take a breather. It's a fact that we all need "down time." Even a few minutes away from a project can refresh us. But it's important to make sure you're not spending TOO much time away from tasks and letting your work pile up until your turn into a big ball of stress. Think about it right now: write down how you spent your time at work this week. You may be surprised at the amount of time you spend on personal calls and Internet surfing. So get stingy about your free time! Use that time at work to work so you don't bring as much of it home.
Learn to say no
Write down the things that in the past three weeks you've said yes to at work when you wanted to say no. Surprised? While it's fantastic that you've got such a team-oriented mentality, you don't have to be part of every committee or volunteer project. Prioritize. Choose activities that directly relate to your specific assignment and role. Rather than taking on menial tasks, use your free time to attend meetings that include upper management to maximize your exposure. Above all, find relevance to your current work.
Give up the idea of perfection
Prioritize, organize and delegate at home. Your family won't fall apart if all the laundry isn't done or isn't done "perfectly." And don't be afraid to enlist help! Rather than making yourself crazy about the state of your home, develop a chore chart so your children can help out (they respond best with structure) and/or hire a housekeeper to pick up the slack so you can relax with your family. Child care providers and tutors can also step in to help, easing the pressure you put on yourself to be in three places at once.
Lean on love
Hug and kiss your spouse and children as soon as you get home and again before bedtime. Human contact, especially amongst loved ones, is one of the fastest most effective ways to kick in the hormones that soothe.
