Male Babysitters: To Hire or Not To Hire
One of our male babysitters recently wrote in expressing his frustration over the issue that many parents seem to “fear” the male babysitter. We admit, we checked out his profile to see if there was any other explanation for why he was lacking child care jobs. The only issues we found were that he doesn’t have any reviews (Catch-22 situation right there, huh?) and lists his references as “available upon request.” Other than that, it looks like he’s got some good experience.
He has a good picture, is enrolled in college, works at a day care, comes from a large family, is certified in child and infant CPR, knows first aid, is passionate, artistic and creative.
Of course, he IS male, which often stops parents dead in their tracks when it comes to hiring a sitter. Does it stop you?
This particular male sitter cited a few articles that he wanted us to share with our site members:
I hire male babysitters
“Sadly, I think, we’re not only teaching our kids to fear men, but we’re teaching men to stay away from kids. Is that healthy? Are kids safer? […] Use common sense of course. But not just when it comes to males — but when it comes to ANYONE who you are trusting with your children. Stereotyping and building bias never really solves problems. It takes us away from the bigger issues. In this case, we should focus on tuning into our kids, listening, and getting to know them.”
Male Versus Female Babysitters
“When trying to find a babysitter, you have to determine what is most important for you. Are your kids a bit unruly and undisciplined? Get a babysitter who can implement your disciplinary instructions well. This could certainly be a female, but more often might be a male. Do you have three girls who all like to play dress-up? A male babysitter probably may not be very entertaining; a female babysitter might be more appropriate. Regardless of whether you are considering a male or female babysitter, there are more important characteristics to consider. Is the babysitter responsible? Are they a quick thinker? Are they able to respond in an emergency? Are they trained in first aid? Do they enjoy being with your children? Do the children enjoy being with the babysitter? Ultimately, while gender may play a part in selecting a babysitter, it is generally not the deciding factor.”
Jobs Scarce for Male Babysitters
A Sittercity press hit that discusses the difficulty male sitters often face when trying to land child care jobs.
So here’s what we want to know:
Male babysitters, what is your experience like on Sittercity.com and in general? Are you offended by the term “manny”?
Parents, do you hire male babysitters? Why or why not? For those of you who have or used to have male babysitters, how did it go?
Female babysitters, feel free to share your thoughts too!
July 29th, 2008 at 10:22 am
My son is two, and as a nanny/sitter myself, I do not shy away from male sitters at all! I think it is important for kids to develop healthy relationships with people of both sexes. Besides, a guy is far more likely to wrestle and be goofy with my son, than myself or most female sitters we have used.
While most of my clients won’t hire male sitters, they do let my husband come with my son and I on the weekends or if it is an overnight job (for security is the most common reason they allow it!). The kids have grown just as attached to my hubby as to me, and their parents think it is a wonderful thing!
July 29th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
“What is your experience like on Sittercity.com and in general? “parents just not being able to “see
My experience on Sittercity and other contexts where parents don’t already know me is that the majority of the time when I reply to a posting I never hear back at all. My guess is that comes more from a failure of imagination (parents just not being able to “see” me in that role) rather that from a deliberate choice (”No men.) But since I don’t hear from those parents, I don’t really know. I’d actually be interested in hearing how typical or atypical that is for other men (to see if perhaps it’s just my presentation) and from women (to see how much it’s gender.) I guess only parents who don’t hire men can give us any enlightenment on just why.
My experience with parents who already know me and/or have seen me caring for others’ children is quite different. They have sought my help on many occasions.
“Are you offended by the term “manny”?”
Only now that I stop to think about it. It’s kind of trivializing ( my life is not a TV show) and puts the emphasis in completely the wrong place. I’m an educator and caregiver, THAT’s my professional identity. I am a man, and that is a significant part of my personal identity. But one has little to do with the other. The one role I can’t fulfill is wetnurse, but most women can’t (or won’t) do that either! If you wouldn’t call a woman who drives a truck a “driverette” (and I wouldn’t suggest that you do!) then why call me a “manny?”
July 29th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
I totally agree, i am a male sitter and its awesome to know there are still parents open minded about having a male sitter. I also agree that kids need to know men are great care givers. I am a 35 yr old male who just loves being a care giver for kids. I currently take care of a 3 yr old and 2 yr old boys and honestly have really staarted to become attached to them and it feels awesome. I know 100% that I am in the right field because I love my job and am really great at it.
July 29th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
I must say that reading the responses coming from the male nanny, i am guilty of stereotyping too , but i stand correct and I thank you for opening my eyes as i was blinded. As one writer puts it mothers might be skeptical if the children are girls but, we shouldn’t look on things just at face value but look deeper , providing the male nanny’s back ground is checked out and things are perfect then they should be hired base upon their credibility
July 29th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Personally, I wouldn’t be too comfortable hiring a male babysitter. I think it’s more of a girl’s job to be a temporary “mother” for a few hours. I know probably most of the male sitters are great guys but I would prefer a female sitter. I don’t want to offend any of you guys out there! Just take this as my own personal opinion and preference! I do think it’s terribly rude to not answer somebody’s application though, whether it is a guy or girl.
July 29th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
I haven’t really found too much stereotyping. There have been times, when familes I’ve worked for before call and request a day, that I am busy. Instead of an “oh Okay…” there have been many times where they’ve asked my fiance ro babysit instead. He’s very loving and does a great job.
July 29th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
My boyfriend and I used to have a baysitting service and it went well for the one family we sat for. I was good with the 7 and 9 year old girls and he was better with 5 year old girl and 12 year old boy, he seemed calmer in certain cituations and handled displin and stress well. I also am tring to get a sitter job for my guy friend who is also starting college, he is quite good with kids but has the same problem, no refrence, yet… Guy are GREAT sitters just find a good one who fits your family style and children. My boyfriend wouldn’t had seemed like an amayzing sitter if he had just watched the two older girls but if he was watching only the youngest girl and oldest boy he would have seemed like the best babysitter ever! Just find someone who works well with YOUR kids, try them out at the interview and let them play with your kids for awhile while you are home and do some chores or home improvement. Good luck all you guys!
PS
My boyfriend has a twin sister who was always offered a babysitting job, and he never was simply because he was a “guy and wouldn’t enjoy it” but truth be told he would actually enjoy it more and would be a better sitter. That’s another thing to look for, someone who enjoys sitting for you, that means they usually enjoy the kids and that the kids have more fun!
Good Luck Everyone!
July 30th, 2008 at 8:38 am
I have been a member of Sittercity for a few weeks now-with open availability,expierence and references. So I was confused after checking my inbox several times each day with no messages or inquires. Now after reading these articles I am aware of the possible bias against my first name(Jamil) which is male although I am 100% female. I recently uploaded a photo to clear up any questions, no hard feelings though I get it all the time.
July 30th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
I am a female, but some of my male friends babysit and some of my clients also use male babysitters. I know some parents who have boy children prefer male babysitters. I know personally I know much more about Hannah Montana and High School Musical than I do about Transformers or the Power Rangers, and I’m sure a male babysitter would probably say the opposite. So if a male babysitter is just as mature and responsible as a female, but relates to the children better, why not hire them? A family I babysit for uses a male friend of mine when I am not available and my charges love both of us. I think that if a male is offering his babysitting services and he is kind, mature, responsible, certified, and experienced, there’s no reason not to hire him unless he does not connect well with your children- but the same goes for any female babysitter as well!
July 30th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Dear Sittercity Parents:
I agree that parents need to be extremely careful about choosing a sitter for their child(ren). As a new member on this website for the last 6 weeks or so, with only one response, it can be hard to ask a male to watch over a child. Before being accepted to volunteer at Child Saving Instiute, it took 12 weeks of paperwork and background checks for the state of Nebraska to clear me, plus in addition 8 hours of classes before I was able to work with the pre school and preK classes.
Being a positive role and showing children today that male’s can be a vital part of society can boast self esteem, confindence, and shead hope to that child with only one parent. On the flip side, I find volunteering/babysitting a way to reduce stress and you can learn sometime new from a child.
I have known a family for nearly 18 years and I have on several occasions, helped out in family emergencies, including a 4 day/night stay babysitting a 2 oy girl and 6 oy boy. It’s humbling and amusing to see children dress up and pretend to be doctors, or police chief, ect. This family strongly encourages playtime and creativity.
In closing, parent(s) makes the final choice on choosing a sitter, but sometimes it COULD be a male if he has strong references, background check, and maybe an 1-2 hours “grace” time with the child(ren) to see how it works outs. After this grace period, ask pros and cons questions. I hope that this response will help out not only myself but to other males out there looking to be a positive role models.
Thanks, Cookiesman
July 31st, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I would definately consider hiring a male sitter. I have not hired one before but that is only because i have never found a male sitter for hire. I think it would be (if the sitter is a good one) a positive thing. I am a single mother of two and my son is 6 going on 7. I think it would be a great idea to have a male sitter for him. Someone he can scuffle with and relate to more.
July 31st, 2008 at 2:51 pm
I am not supporting this view but I do think their is a bias against male babysitters. I also do not have any bias against any religious group, however, as I read this blog the first thing that pops into my head is the unfortunate situation of dozens of catholic priests (by default males) having been accused and some having confessed to molesting children. I’m not saying that I agree with the stereotype but only that the news articles regarding this recent issue may be contributing to parents’ fear of a “male babysitter”.
July 31st, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Why is no one mentioning the obvious? Statistically (it’s not just a stereotype), more men than women molest children. Therefore, leaving your children with a man, especially one you are finding through a website, can be a tricky proposition. Of course there are many, many men (the majority) who are excellent caregivers, wonderful with children, etc., etc., and it would be silly to not hire one because of some preconcieved notion about men not being nurturing. I must imagine that most women have no problem with their children being cared for by their fathers, uncles, brothers, etc. But when you are dealing with strangers, common sense asks that you question why men are seeking your child’s company. Picking among strangers, it’s just easier to go with a female.
July 31st, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Just to read that babysitting is a womans job just really tears me up. To be honest I think there are a lot of male sitters, child care workers, preschool teachers, that outshine woman by a long shot. If the media would stop sterotyping males and their malesting children stories men would be appresated more. I myself have over 9 years working with children. I have excellenct refrences from work and parents themselves. Out of the 20 some parents out of the center I just resigned from loved me. They even have me babysit their children. I ask that you turn on the tv. Call the refrences up and see for yourself. I am sure you will find males if not better than some female sitters but just as good. I apologise to those female writters that support males being sitters I am just bashing on those who think its a females job.
Thank you for your time
Grant
August 1st, 2008 at 6:54 am
Hi
I have been on this sight for almost 2 years and have only worked 3 short term jobs. Let’s face it, no matter if you are male or female think of how hard it must be to have to go to a website to find quality care for your most precious possession–your child. I have a small son of my own who desperately needs a positive male role model in his life, and I would be uncomfortable with a male or female sitter or nanny if it was someone I found online. I admire any guy who devotes his life to children–especially ones who become teachers or male nannies–it’s just a distrustful world no matter what gender you are.
August 10th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
That whole thing about statistics is just stupid.
Yeah more men molest than woman, but what percentage of overall men are molesters? I bet it would be less than 5 percent worldwide.
It would be just like me turning down a woman for a job based on stereotypes. It’s insulting.
August 11th, 2008 at 1:56 am
I think male babysitters/nannies should be able to care for a child. People should make sure they get to know any person they are considering hiring.
August 14th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I have been a baby-sitter for 9 years and a Nanny for the past 2 1/2 years to many great families. The family I have been baby-sitting with the longest (8 years) tells me to bring my boyfriend of 4.5 years with me. Of course at first when I just started dating him, I wouldn’t just show up with him… but after I knew him better and the family and him were introduced (the mother and I are good friends now) and got along well- they told me I could bring him with whenever he wanted. I also took my previous boyfriend (of 2 years) with me as well, but again after they knew him. My current boyfriend is with me every time I baby-sit for them… and if he isn’t the little boy gets so upset and so disappointed that its only me! The kids are now 11 (girl) and 7 (boy) and they both like when he comes with. If I am not available she will call him and ask him to watch them or pick them up from school or an activity. The family I have been with as a Nanny for 1 1/2 years has called my boyfriend a few times when it was my day off and their child needed a ride to and from an activity or just a few hours when I couldn’t. I think having a male baby-sitter is totally fine as long as they are good with the kids and the same goes for the female sitters. I think it is crazy to not hire someone on their gender… their experience, the way they are with the kids, knowledge of kids, etc. are more important than that.
August 23rd, 2008 at 7:07 pm
I don’t know why it’s such a big deal about male baby-sitters. I mean, if they have fun with kids and can sit well, why not?
In my previous home, there were two very rambunctious twins boys who lived across the street. The whole family was really into sports, so when it came to choosing a baby sitter, they picked my brother over me. Why? Because they felt that the twins could have someone in the neighborhood to see as kind of like a big brother and who enjoyed doing the sports as much as they did (while I, on the other hand, tend to catch the ball with my head if you get my drift, haha, even though I also like to stay active…I just wouldn’t be able to keep up with the kind the twins liked). My brother got along great as a sitter for them because he fit what they needed the most.
I think the main reason why male sitters are not as welcome is because of all the pedophile hype that goes on. As with many stories that go around in the news, just because something horrible happens to a few people, it’s suddenly expected to be everywhere…so pretty much it seems, any guy whether in real life or online, seems to be accused of being a “pervert” or “sexual predator” when the actual number of those who are is most likely much lower.
As for the whole “more men molest/rape children” thing–cases in which women are the offender are rising. When trusting your child to someone else, you have to keep in mind that there are a lot of sick people out there of any gender and age and personality and none of those should make you automatically trustworthy of a stranger.
September 3rd, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Since I only have a daughter I would fear allowing a male babysitter into our home. I also don’t allow her alone with any male relatives. I’ve worked with too many children abused by trusted family and friends to take the chance.
I’ve worked with many capable, caring, and wonderful male staff who I would trust with my children, however, even on the job male staff are not allowed alone with girls. It’s a precaution and I think one worth taking.
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:55 pm
I have two children both male and female. My daughter excelled in sports,language’s (7) was in college by 16 years old holds 2 BA degree’s and a Master’s degree. She exclusivly had a male watching over her. He encouraged her
to ask question’s, not back down on her belief’s,and the many adventure’s in parts of the world through books and now owns her own international company.He is to this
day,is in the childrens world. My son is owner of his own business, and not as fluid
in language as his sister, excel’s in education,adventure and openess I feel because of the influence of a good ,soul male or female,Nanny ,Manny or Poka Dot
it all comes down to HUMAN BEING that is attempting to do there part to make it
a better place for our childrens future.