Dear Genevieve: Should I Pay for Sitter’s Food?
Dear Genevieve: This is my first time really using a sitter (as opposed to a family member) and I’m not sure what the etiquette is when it comes to babysitters and food. Do I make her dinner when she comes over for the evening? What if she wants to order pizza? Any help is appreciated. Thanks! ~Brooke, Washington, DC
Hi Brooke.
As a general rule, when you’re having a sitter come over for the evening and she’ll be preparing food / feeding the kids, yes, it’s a good idea to include her in the dinner plans. This doesn’t mean you have to cook her anything fancy or special — just make a little extra pasta or whatever you happen to be serving the kids that can reasonable pass for a “grown-up” meal. 
That being said, you should know that many sitters will eat dinner before coming over anyway. I usually did! For parents, though, it’s better NOT to always assume that. Err on the side of caution and, in the worst case scenario, you’ll just end up with a few leftovers. You could also buy a few frozen meals to keep in the freezer for your sitter to heat up on her own, should she get hungry.
Offering perks like food shows the sitter that you’re considerate and doesn’t make her feel like an outsider in your home. It’s a great way to nurture the parent-sitter relationship and help make her feel like a part of the family.
You can take this a step further and buy a few of your sitter’s favorite snacks for her to munch on as well, but you’ll definitely want to be clear that she’s welcome to eat from the pantry, fridge, wherever. Most sitters assume that they shouldn’t rummage through your kitchen, so let her know if that’s okay (or if it’s not). And talk to your sitter about what she likes to eat before you stock up on food for her. She might be vegetarian, diabetic or have other dietary restrictions that you have to consider.
As for ordering pizza, if you’re fine with your sitter answering the door, definitely leave money if the pizza is for the sitter and kids. If the sitter just wants to order a pizza on her own while the kids are asleep, she wouldn’t expect it to come out of your pocket.
Good luck!
Ask Genevieve your own question.
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:26 am
I agree Genevieve.
All my families have said “feel free to eat w/e u want”. They just asked if anything finished that I let them know.
My morning Mom even bought my milk (soy not cowmilk) and bagels so I’d eat breakfast w her kids.
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:00 pm
The best families I ever worked for either 1) made something small, maybe a sandwich or salad or included extra in the kids prep, 2) had a well stocked pantry, and 3) made a point to say “help yourself if you get hungry”. Granted, I usually eat before going to babysit, but it was nice to know that should I get hungry, I didn’t feel like I had to be hungry until I left and was able to grab me something.
Like Genevieve says, it shows the babysitter that you’re considerate and you care about her wellbeing also.
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:45 pm
I think it’s important to discuss the food situation before agreeing to take the job/ hire the sitter. This is especially true in the case of a nanny position. Often times the caregiver is with the children during a meal time or for an amount of time in which a worker in another field would normally be given some kind of break. However, for a home-based care giver, there really aren’t any true breaks (as all moms understand!). This can make it difficult for the caregiver to be able to eat.
I think the family should either make it clear that the caregiver is to bring food or that they are welcome to the food in the home. It’s not like a caregiver generally can run out and get take out.
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:24 pm
The parents that I babysit for have all told me that I can eat whatever I want, but always eat breakfast before and also take my lunch. I usually do have snacks with the kids though. I think it’s really nice to be able to eat whatever you want, but I also think that babysitters should be considerate and not eat everything they see especially until they get to know the family better.
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:46 pm
I always bring my own food and usually don’t partake of a family’s food unless it is a Diet Coke or a banana or very something small. However, I ALWAYS appreciate being offered food or drinks from the family and consider it very nice and considerate when parents think of those things. I don’t want them to have to worry about my diet/vegetarianism but am always impressed by the generosity of parents that do think to ask.
July 24th, 2008 at 8:19 am
Typically I always looked forward to the food that my babysitting families had because they were always stocked with great snacks and leftovers. Sometimes my days are really hectic and I’m coming straight from my other job to babysit & dont have time to go get food or eat elsewhere, so having food for the sitter is important. Be sure to have a clean refridgerator! I have cared for some families where I did not even want to open the fridge door to get the kids juice! The sitter won’t feel comfortable eating out of a dirty fridge & then she’ll be hungry all night. If you have enough food, and the sitter still wants to order something on her own, you should never have to pay for that. I often times order or bring food over and I’d never expect to be reinbursed for that.
July 24th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Most families I baby-sit for will show me around their kitchen and say that I am welcome to eat what I want. If I will be feeding the kids, the parents will let me know what food is available for them and if there is enough for me or if I should look for something else to eat. If I take the children out, it is helpful for the parents to give me monet to feed us all. I’ve had one mom who left money for me to order food for myself, but I didn’t take advantage of this and don’t feel that this is necessary. I do usually expect to eat while baby-sitting, even if I have to wait until the kids are in bed and find the food myself.
July 31st, 2008 at 11:37 am
Parents, please, if it is ok for us sitters to eat your food let us know. I generally assume that if I’m going to be sitting during a meal time and feeding children that I will eat along with them. If I arrive at your home and am not told to help myself or fix a sandwich for myself or something along those lines I will not eat your food. Nothing worse than a hungry babysitter trying to be patient with your children!
Sitters, if you were in a situation with a family that you had been ocassionally sitting for long term (1-2 nights a month for over a year) and they never told you you could eat their food what would you do?
July 31st, 2008 at 7:46 pm
If I were in a situation where the family never told me I could eat their food, I would bring my own or discuss it with them, but I wouldn’t eat their food without asking.
Parents should always discuss that with sitters when they first hire them. If a sitter is at a house for a while, they’ll have to feed your child and its not fair for them to watch the children eat when they’re not sure if they can eat too.
If the family is on a budget and can’t afford to feed the sitter, then they should let the sitter know in advance so they bring their own food.
I have a food situation. I bring my own food to work because I’m not comfortable eating the children’s food. I feed the children first and even though they say they’re full, the moment I take out my food they want me to share with them.
August 7th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Genevieve is right. Not supplying food for the sitter makes them feel like an outsider. Even though I tend to bring my own food, I like to know that the family that I am working for has me in mind. I like to feel included with the family. Most families that I have been with has always said our kitchen is your kitchen, feel free to eat whatever.
August 7th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
Our daughter is on a special diet (gluten/dairy free) so I make great meal for her before we go out and a nice well balanced, delicious meal for our sitter too (with dessert). I call in advance to see if the sitter has special food preferences or dietary restrictions before I make her meal. This takes a little extra time and effort but it lets these ladies (I don’t hire male sitters) know that I appreciate them. When I come home to find the dishes either done or in the dishwasher they also get a nice $$ bonus from me too! : )
If however, I have made a lovely dinner and the sitter doesn’t even know how to dish it out for herself when the plate, food, poured drinks and serving implements are right in front of them (and I’ve had that happen) I won’t have that sitter back again. If I’m paying someone $13 - $15 dollars per hour they should know how to put some food on a plate, if they don’t know how to do something that basic I’m not about to entrust them with my precious daughter!
August 8th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Especially when it is dinner time, I eat with the children to model for them good eating. If the sitter eats something different than the child then they want what you have anyway.
I am often on the go from one job to the next so it is nice to be able to eat at least whatever the child is eating with them.
But just in case I always have easy snack food with me, apple, orange, crackers etc… It works out well when you don’t know exactly when the parent is returning. I try not to put a limit on their time so they can enjoy themselves.
August 12th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
I also have to agree that the majority of the families I have sat for have always offered for me to “help myself to whatever” and that is wonderful. I even have one very special, very regular mom that will mention she is going to a certain Mexican Restaurant that we both love and should she bring me something back that I can eat for lunch tomorrow. She even went to Barnes & Noble for books a while back and brought me a huge fabulous cookie. Occasionally however, I have had a first time family that I believe just forgets to mention that I am welcome to something, either that , or they just do not believe that it is necessary. Any time I am going to a new assignment for the first time, I make arrangements for my own food just in case the house is nasty, which has happened occasionally and I cannot, cannot eat even my own food in a nasty home. I will usually talk the kids into going outside with me on the back deck, etc., wheather permitting so that I can eat after they have just so we can “have some outdoor time”. Through my nanny agency when we are working a hotel assignment, my agency usually lets the parents know that they should supply our meals if we are going to be there during meal hours with the kids. I do not doubt that many sitters have taken advantage of this, but I never have. Even in some of the better hotels, the Grand Hyatt, the W hotel, Intercontinental, etc. and the parent mentions “order yourself whatever you’d like when you order for the kids” I have never been one to order the “surf and turf”. The most I ever get and always more than I can eat anyway is a kids meal (which still is ridiculously overpriced!). I believe the parents think alot more of a sitter when they do not run up their bill, and I always want to be the one they call should they return to Atlanta.
August 15th, 2008 at 2:38 am
I use to sit for a very wealthly family, the Mom was very controling with food, durning the interview the mom said I could eat anything there and they have plenty, thenout of being respectful I took my own lunch, and the Mom said good you brought your own lunch. The family had only one adopted baby and had tonsof food. I was sitting for over 12 hours a day. Needless to say I resigned, and found another position. that was months ago and the Mom still has NOT found another sitter.
August 23rd, 2008 at 6:49 pm
I don’t eat much, but I totally think that the best families to work for tend to have a good variety of food in their house.
I used to come home from another job to work for a family in my neighborhood, and the mom was always great about ordering food. She knows I’m lactose intolerant, so she’ll order something like chicken for me when the kids had pizza or she would wait till I came until she ordered something so I could pick something out if I wanted. It was so thoughtful of her and I was especially grateful because I usually didn’t have time to grab dinner (and sometimes I wouldn’t have time for lunch at work).
But yea, usually the first time I sit for someone, I get a little nervous on their food policies and I’ll bring my own food.
The worst experience I’ve had with food while sitting:
I did not have my driver’s license at the time and I had to sit two boys (age 10, 7) for a whole weekend (two overnights as well). There was almost NOTHING in the cabinets and refrigerator. The woman had a nice house, made good money, so that’s not really an excuse for saying “I wasn’t able to go shopping.” There was barely enough food for the boys, and I went without for the most part (it was my first time sitting for her. I even did stuff like grill steak (which she was kind of pissed about when she came back because she denied the severe lack of food).
All in all, unless you’re stuck at their house for a weekend like that, don’t eat a ton of food at their house. Like, especially the snacks (it’s also not a good idea to set that kind of example on the kids unless it’s healthy food).
It also depends on how long your sitting. If it’s for a while, have some food. If it’s only for a few hours, have something really small or go without.
September 20th, 2008 at 6:27 am
The last family I sat for made it clear that I should help myself to whatever it was I wanted. I sat with the children 10 to 12 hrs a day 3 days a week. As another post said, it’s not like any other job where you get a lunch break or coffee break. As soon as you walk into the home you are on duty until the parents come home. There have been occassions that I had something prepared for myself and forgot to bring it. In my situation I was in charge of a 3 yr old and 1yr old twins. It wasn’t like I could run to the corner and buy something. On the other hand when I brought something, the 3yr old would like to try it so many times I shared it with him. Many times my husband was off on Friday and he would go and buy a pizza and it was a special treat for the all of us.. ( with the Mom’s permission of course.)