Child Care Provider and Nanny - HEATHER H. (User #41013)

PROS:

**I have over seventeen years of childcare experience, thirteen of them as a professional nanny.

**I have impeccable references, as well as clean driving and criminal records.

**I have experience with every age and stage of childhood development, from newborn to teens.

**I have taken first aid and CPR courses, and I have good instincts.

**I have my own transportation, and weather permitting, I will arrive on time.

**I am not afraid to clean up around your house. I will load the dishwasher, scrub the pots and pans, and wipe off the counter with a smile on my face. I'm happy to spruce up any areas where your children and I have been playing. I don't mind washing or folding your laundry. I can pick up your dry-cleaning, go grocery shopping, drop something at the post office, or pick the dog up from the groomer. Catch me on the right day, and you might even be able to talk me into washing your car.

**I love doing arts and craft projects, singing, dancing, reading, playing musical instruments (badly), and going on outings.

**I encourage creative growth through music, art, theatre-puppetry, and play-acting.

**I have a blackbelt in Hide-And-Go-Seek.

**I can make soap bubbles bigger than your head.

**Follow-The-Leader, Freeze, and Stuffed Animal Parade are among my favorite pastimes.

**I can recite by heart "Goodnight Moon", "Madeline", and many of Sandra Boynton's gems including--but not limited to--"Oh My Oh My Oh Dinosaurs!"

**I can do many voices, including Blue's Clues/Dora the Explorer/Sesame Street Alumni (specializing in Elmo), not to mention many Simpson's characters (for older kids, if appropriate) and the cast of Napoleon Dynamite, gosh!

**If your little girl likes nail polish, I might as well tell you that I am the nail polish queen! I have oodles of colors, and I'm getting pretty good at making funky patterns...just let me know in advance, so I can bring my nail polish kit.

**I am a huge fan of Laurie Berkner, and am prone to belting out "Victor Vito" at any given moment. (Depending on your opinion of my singing voice, this may not be a "Pro".)

**I love pets, all kinds of pets, and I am more than happy to include your animals in my repertoire of affection...sometimes, to excess. (See "Cons".)

**In addition to my child care skills, I have been told that I can organize one mean garage sale. (The last sale I helped organize raked in over $700!)

CONS:

**I can't drive a stick shift. To be fair, I once drove from California to Minnesota in a truck with a stick shift, but I never got the hang of starting or stopping. I kept making the truck turn off, much to the disgruntlement of my travel companion.

**I might feed your dog table scraps, because I have an insane need to make all dogs love me. I don't know why. If there are serious dietary issues, please let me know, and I'll do my best to curb my compulsion for dog popularity in favor of canine health.

**I am relatively expensive. I know, I know. But at this moment you must ask yourself if this is really the area in your life where you want to be a penny-pincher. Do you actually want to bargain hunt when it comes to the well-being and safety of your child? Hey, I'm all about clipping coupons, and buy-one-get-one-free deals, but let's save that for frozen pizzas and movie rentals. This is your family. I have found that the cliche "you get what you pay for" is almost always true, with the exception of the ticket price for anything featuring Rob Schneider. I am no Rob Schneider. I am Heather Hansen, and I guarantee that I am worth every penny.